the return of random ish: Here, I Stand.

- "i want you to touch me. thoroughly. firmly. aggressively. sexually. gently ... just once. i want to know how your fingerprints feel on my soul's epidermis. just let go and ... touch me. who knows what dreams may come ... true."

- there seems to be recent uprise in celibacy among the womenfolk i know, both in "real" life and online. hmm. article? i've been without manfolkness for some time now, but i have not taken some strict vow to avoid the male species. just unapologetically picky i guess. i am glad to see women deciding not to share their bodies with undeserving men any longer. know your worth, ladies. know your worth.

- still love 'Here I Stand' by Usher. sigh. the words. amazing. waiting for the right man to say "you're like a mirror to my soul, but a Queen." to me. wowza. that day, i shall marry Him. lol.

- a friend of mine is engaged, after 3 weeks of dating, and knowing each other period. they've been together about a month and a half now, and it seems like it's real Love. wow. i'm extra happy for her. was even a little blinded by her DOUBLE diamond ring (like, two rings. two engagement rings. wow) when i saw it, and he clearly is thoroughly taken with her. who said there was a timeline on Love, huh?

- still a little sad over the Late Great Michael Jackson. sigh. the world will never ever see another like him. words can't describe how much of a stan i was. i'm happy i was able to experience his influence and music in my lifetime, and i'm sure my children and their children, will know who the King of Pop was.



- still have my 'Beat It' and 'Thriller' shirts. yes yes. still wear the Thriller one, but i'll skin you alive if you touch the Beat It one. lol.

- this, is a little extreme in my humble opinion though. as well as the 12 suicides that have happened since the King died. wowza.


- white cheddar cheez-its. yep! swear they are addicting.

- pursuing your Dream with full force may be one of the toughest, hardest, most mentally-challenging things you'll ever do, but when you actually put a finger on it, feel the texture of it in your hands, the blisters you've gained will be all worth it. :)

- now, what will you do with it?

- 68 degree high. june 30. gotta love Michigan. ...not.

- recently went to Chicago for my cousin's Naval Academy graduation. loved it. made me realize that Detroit definitely needs to get its weight up. made me a little sad that our downtown has more abandoned, boarded up, and decaying buildings than viable places to shop. haven't been to a city so alive in a long while. i understand the stan behavior Chi-town natives have now. *looked for Kanye*... didn't find Kanye. or Common. or Lupe. sucks yo. lol.

- want to say how PROUD i am of mi little cousin for not only sticking with it, but doing well. Go Quinny-Poo!! lol.

- packing is exhausting. so is moving. but i can't wait. BIG SMILES.

- waking up to pretty flowers is like someone internally pushing the 'Have A Lovely Day' button, every morning. smiles.

- Ginuwine's new song, 'Last Chance'. yes. "if this is my last chance, to Love you... i'm gonna play it like a Grown Man ought to..." <-- that's what i'm TALKING ABOUT. grown man Love is something serious. fav part of the song.

- nosebleeds f*cking suck. could be worse though, so i won't complain too much. Jesus Loves Me, clearly. so, i'll keep smiling.

- there is something incredibly and inexplicably soothing about a Manhug. i could definitely use one of those right about now. nothing matches a tall, strong man wrapping his arms around you and telling you that all will be okay. yep. could really use that.

- don't you love my shirtness? smiles.

- i'm learning that when you start trying to define that which cannot be defined, that is the point where things start getting messy. who ever heard of clear definitions making things messy though? i know. lol

- wow. i'd almost forgotten about the Jena 6. glad they didn't get jail time. see what happens when black people ban together for a common goal? loves it. battery is a lonnng way from attempted murder.

- got a tattoo on my wrist. i'll show it one of these days. :)

- i'm an editor for MaBu, which is MahoganyButterfly.com, one of the best sites for black women. check us out! and if you're interested in writing articles ... let me know!

- fathers are amazing. my daddyo gives some great advice. Heart him so much.

- hair post coming soon. it's growing like crazy! shout out to all my Au Naturales! time for a cut, i suppose. finally figured out what was causing the crazy hair shedding. so i stopped it, and haven't had many problems since. hallelujah.

- i have vowed not to shop or buy anything until i've moved. we'll see how that turns out. so far, so good. lol

- for the last year and a half or so, i've been firmly saying that dating is secondary to me focusing on my career as a budding writer. i was uninterested in working on a relationship, starting a new relationship, or rekindling any past relationship. now, as writing becomes more of a daily event in my life and the title of Published Author looms around the corner, i am thinking (and being reminded by several people in my circle) that it's about time to turn my playa card (playa, yeah right. lol) in and settle down. who the lucky (or unlucky depending on your POV. lol) Man will be only God knows. but, i'm thinking it's nearing that time for me to at least consider a relationship. ah, we'll see.

- twitter is a bit time consuming. and invasive. expect less of me. still love y'all though. just can't live my life 140 characters at a time. lol. if you care to follow though ... it's twitter.com/mzunyque

... the good thing is this means that i'll be blogging more regularly.


hope all is fab and flyyness. :-)

what would you do?

you come home from a long hard day at work and can think of nothing but relaxing with a glass of wine and a few classic oldies on the mp3.

checking your messages on the way home, you smile as your honey's voice wafts through your earpiece, telling you that their plane lands in a few hours and they absolutely can't wait to see you. you plan on lighting some candles and giving them a nice welcome home from the week-long business trip they've been on.

everything is set, you've gotten showered, you smell heavenly, and the mood is set for your baby to walk through the door and be enthralled in all your Love. you've missed them something serious.

after four hours and no call however, you get concerned. start calling their phone, but voicemail greets you immediately every single time. worry sprinkles your brow after you call and find out that the plane arrived on time an hour ago. you're only a half hour drive from the airport.

another half hour goes by and your phone rings. a mutual police officer friend of yours takes a deep breath and tells you that there's been an accident, and your sweetie was in it. panicking, you rush out the door and make it to the hospital they're at 20 minutes later.

when you arrive you immediately give the receptionist a name and rush over to the room she points out, where the door is closed, but you can see there are a lot of doctors surrounding the bed. this is not good.

you don't notice the distraught person to your right until they speak. tears overflow and they pace back and forth. you hear them say your honey's name and ask them what's going on. must be a concerned coworker.

after introducing yourself as their spouse, the flabbergasted person apologizes and informs you that they've just gotten back from a week-long cruise with their honey, and had no idea that you even existed. they got into an accident on the home from the airport.

just as they finish speaking, the doctor comes out and sadly informs you that your honey fought, but didn't make it. they're gone.


what do you think? what do you do?

do you mourn? or are you angry?

Fatherless : a poem by one of my 15 yr old students

so i work with a creative writing program for 3rd to 6th graders, and 7th-12th graders. this poem was written by one of the brightest young men i know, Justin, on his 15th birthday five days ago.



So often I think about what my life will become.

Will I be a victim to the same poisons that made a home on the lips
And then assaulted the minds of my brothers?

I wonder, how will I survive?

No guiding light,
No taller, stronger version of myself to teach me wrong from right.

No Father.

I had a daddy.

I knew him once upon a brokenhearted little 4 year-old's Christmas.
The night I waited and waited until daylight glistened in the tears draining my eyes.

Tears that took my hope with them,
Replaced the innocent with angry thoughts of
FUCK that nigga.

Pain laced with venom is never a good combination.

And now I wonder, what will become of me?

Who's gonna tell me to watch out for hoes,
To wrap it up when both heads are hard
and I don't listen?

Who will have my back when I feel like falling?
Who will slap the back of my head
When I'm disrespectful to my mama?

I had a daddy.

No Father to catch the insecurities
Dripping from the ice on my neck.
To tell me that shit was wack.
That I didn't have to be eleven selling crack.

I had a daddy.

I wonder, what will become of me.

Will I be the man that runs
When the mouths to feed outnumber the dead presidents in my wallet?

Fear laced with cowardice has never resulted in anything meriting praise...

I had a daddy.

No one ever told me it's okay to feel sad.
Forever bucking up
Perpetually branded the Angry Black Man

...And I ain't even a man yet.

Don't know if I'll ever be.
Will life allow me to surpass the deadbead embedded in me?

No one ever encouraged me to do my homework
Instead of my girl

How do you become a man without ever knowing what one is?

I travel through life blind, hands desperately outstretched
Feeling my way along these gritty walls

Uncertainty guides me.

Cause I never had a Father.
Don't really know what one is.

But I had a daddy, once.



hope all is fab and flyy my peoples.

*smiles*

don't speak.

please.

don't say those words

gazing at me with that look in your eye ...
the look that whispers to my backthoughts,
the look that lets me know we need to talk.

please.

don't say those words ...

the words that turn maybes into certainties
and friends into boos
this heart of mine, it's been torn. abused.
misused.

and therefore very capable of ensnaring you
in tangles of past due debts
not owed by you.

so please.

don't utter those words...

don't look at me like i'm your dream come true
looks can be deceiving
and yours is very misleading ...

it's making you feel you can handle me,
this handful that i've become.
the path so righteously unbeaten, the one you've chosen

and ... you think you're ready.

but please.

keep those expressions buried just a little longer ...
need to make sure you're just a little bit stronger ...

i won't be responsible for your heart's bleed.
don't want to be the one you long for with insatiable need
this free spirit of mine ... at times isn't so free.
this smile hides many pains that travel deep
this body you so covetously hold in the highest degree
has been ravished time and again,
this mold broken for more than one pair of undeserving and uninvited hands ...

so please, if you can.
resist the urge to say it.
release those feelings into the wind
or rather, redirect them to someone
who will receive them openly ...

and yes i'm very flattered, and my heart is delighted
with the notion that you would open your window
to let my sunshine in...

but these storms are fierce.
the currents enough to sink you ...
my Love is heavy... and i'm not sure you're solid enough
to endure the ride.
yes, it will be the time of your Lifetime.
and yes, you will experience joy unimaginable
and all the positive affirmatives you can conjure ...

but, know that i am Much.
and it won't be easy, initially.
maybe never, fully.

so baby, before you get engulfed in this Heat ...
listen to me.

don't speak.
at least don't say those words to me ...

please.

traveling those roads

traveling on those roads

i found you

sitting quietly yet strongly

unassuming.

saw the stare you tried to pretend wasn't happening

laughed at the way you stole glances at

the back side of me

smiled at the way you admired

the front.

i sat. we talked for a few hours

laughter erupted

several details later

i left.

no information exchanged.

but i'll always remember

traveling those roads

and finding you.